You know that you have been flying too much when all you can think about is what bugs you when you fly. I have several pet peeves about airplanes so as a result I have thought of a few ways to redesign them.
THE COOTIE CATCHER (aka back seat holder)
This needs to be eliminated from all planes immediately. Everything can be shown digitally so there is no need for the magazine or instructions to be put in those pockets on the back of the seats.
I guarantee that they never get cleaned (except perfunctorily) and that they contain all kind of germs.
I personally would never put my hand in there – consider what might be (or was) in those pockets. Used sick bags, used tissues, leftover lunch/dinner, dirty diaper – oh the list could go on.
Plus it would give back another half inch of leg room which is sorely needed.
These need to be banned on all seats as well. When somebody in front of you reclines, there is no space to eat or use your computer.
Can’t they just figure out a way to have all seats at a slight recline and still comply with Federal laws?
It’s even worse when the person reclines without warning at an alarming speed.
ZAP – there goes your drink on your lap and computer up in the air.
If they are going to keep reclining seats, they should install some kind of sensor so that at least you know that the seat is coming back and you can prepare.
This cage would come over the ‘COUGHER’ – you know the ones I’m talking about. They hack constantly the entire flight not even trying to subdue the cough with lozenges or drinks.
A containment cage could come over them and seal them up with their germs intact. No longer would you have to load up on vitamin C when you leave the flight for fear that you will be sick during your entire trip.
It would also be great for snorers.
Instead of the arm rests that they currently have, airlines should install movable dividers. These would be like the dividers raised between contestants on Jeopardy so that they can’t cheat.
Dividers can be low if you want to snuggle with your partner – or very high (think eye level) if you really don’t want to have anything to do with your seat mate.
I once flew to Argentina (9-hour flight) and the man next to me fell asleep with his elbow in my abdomen. I started to gradually build up a wall of pillows and blankets and nudged his elbow back into his space.
I’m not sure if he realized what I was doing but at least I retrieved ‘my space.’
This would prevent the ‘ELBOW SNATCHERS’ from invading your space. If there was a barrier these invaders will no longer be able to protrude their elbows over their space and into your lap.
Come to think it, this would probably eliminate the need for containment cages.
Better yet, they could divide in half and serve as tray tables, eliminating the need for tray tables on the back of seats. And a sterilization unit could clean the dividers/tray tables when they were lowered into their holders.
Let’s stop fooling ourselves. Everybody knows that the bag that they are bringing on is too large for the overhead bin – AND that it will be full in about 10 minutes.
They also know that if you board halfway through the trip that your bag will be checked for free.
So why not just stop the charade and put everybody’s bags in the baggage hold?
However, instead of having to go to the baggage carousel, all luggage would be delivered QUICKLY to the gate.
There is still plenty of room underneath the seat for your briefcase or purse. If you remove the overhead compartments, seats could be raised, thus giving more room and preventing concussions when flyers bang their heads into the overhead – or a 75-pound suitcase comes down on their head.
They could have a movable rack with shelves for flyers who insist on bringing things on board.
Then perhaps with the extra space that is gained by eliminating the overhead racks they could add some sleeping berths?
Limits ON OUTSIDE FOOD
Unfortunately there are still too many people who aren’t smart enough to realize that bringing a corned beef and sauerkraut sandwich or liverwurst is going to stink up the entire plane for the duration of the flight. A list of acceptable food groups should be posted at all gates and repeat offenders made to sit in the bathroom for the duration of the flight. Of course this is another instance where the containment cage would come in handy.
Bathrooms for men/women
Ladies, just think how nice it would be to walk into a bathroom that didn’t have the seat up and the bathroom a mess. This might mean waiting a little longer but a bathroom app WOULD eliminate the need to wait in line.
Log onto the app and indicate that you need to go to the bathroom. You will be assigned a number and approximate wait time.
I can’t imagine that I will see any of these change in my lifetime but it’s nice to have fun with it!